Sitting Pretty

Back when i was in Elementary school, i always felt like my uniform made me look fat. It took me quite a while to figure out that i looked fat in the skirt because i wore bloomers under them all the time. Bloomers. Oh how i despised them. The garter would dig into my skin and i would get such a bad itch. They were uncomfortable and NOT COOL. I had a terribly un-pretty short haircut, much like the boys in my classroom and i was always desperately trying to fit in. All my clothes were ukay2x because that's what my mom used to do for a living--sell ukay2x, and i would wear high top sneakers. With. My. (Dress) uniform. So you see, my ludicrous way of dressing was pretty evident even then. But i think what really inspired me to style myself that way was because i didn't feel like i was pretty enough. So i made myself interesting. More than 10 years later, what we used to consider "wacko chic" (i.e. shorts + heels, t-shirt + pink tuutuu) is exactly what people say makes me interesting. So the plan i set in motion while i was 15 has worked. I've never believed myself to be beautiful. But i don't have to be. I'm interesting, and the 15 year old in me is very pleased.

This is really a test of (your gag reflex) how much tolerance you have for reading someone blog about how much she loves herself. If you feel nauseated, i must warn you that it will get worse if you read on. So, proceed at your own risk.

People have often called me fashionable (a fashionista) *ugh, yuck. i don't like that word*. And i would disagree with them every time. Because i'm not. I don't follow trends. If you read on, i promise there's more to this entry than just me yapping about how fabulous i think i am.

We just don't know any other term to use for someone who rocks their outfits. Let's just call it "being creative."

I am truly grateful even for my physical insecurities while i was growing up because it allowed me to explore other ways of finding beauty in myself. My dad, who taught us at a very early age to be modest, would only let me wear shorts that reach down to my knees...in kindergarten. I didn't even know what it meant. I had virtually no understanding of the concept of modesty vs. promiscuity. But even to this day, i've stuck to the ideal that my physical attributes (and my girly parts) are not what make me attractive. It's not my curves. It's not my legs (eventhough i have the legs of a Greek goddess) *haha*. It's not even my face, which i have no complains about. All the parts of my face work just fine thank you very much. We don't have to work so hard to look good. We just gotta be clean. We need to have clean hearts, and clean lives.

The bible says

"that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works."

(NKJV)
And another version says

"not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it."

(MSG)

I love that GOD teaches us how to dress and how we become beautiful by "doing something beautiful for GOD." I love God's fashion sense :)