And then i was his bride forever :)

Oh the joy of making things

I make stuff to eat in the kitchen. It usually starts with me looking up recipes on the internet. Which then ends up being an hour or two of sitting on the couch eating Cheez-it and watching tv sitcoms. It doesn't feel good. Lol. But i've gotten better at cutting back on bumming around on the worldwide web. The Cheez-it though, i dunno if i'm ready to let go of that yet. Anyway, back to recipes...i NEVER follow them. I usually check to see if i have the ingredients in the fridge to make said "quick and easy meal," admire the photo and "examine" how the ingredients were presented on the dish and remix it (wink wink). I seem to operate well on not knowing what i'm doing. Sure i end up making a complete mess, but it feels pretty good to come out with something new. Literally. I mean, the same dish is different every time. Pretty exciting stuff, right? :)

So anyway, what i really wanted to say was that life is exciting. Waking up to a brand new day where you get to be you is pretty awesome. Because you're awesome. I mean, you were woven together in your mother's womb by the Creator of the universe (Psalm 139:13). Have you seen the universe lately? It's an astrological wonder. Whenever i think about the Lord's greatness, the picture of the universe often comes to mind. But even its magnificence pales in comparison to the One who spoke it into reality. I marvel at the Lord's creativity. I doubt that anyone could ever get tired of creation's beauty. But we fail to just sit and remember that sometimes, though. We fail to appreciate the beauty of our own lives and all the little and big things GOD puts in it to remind us of His goodness.

It takes me a considerable amount of energy before i get really deep in thought about something. It takes even more time for me to articulate it in words. I write simply and often times i wish i could write more artistically. But the truth is that my thoughts are plain and uncomplicated. I praise GOD at almost every turn--my normal body functions, grocery shopping, greeting my husband at the door as he comes home from work, chai tea, making a crazy mess in the kitchen, vacuuming, seeing friends. This is what makes my life rich. It's rich with GOD's blessings. And your life is too :)

As i was looking up bible verses for "happiness," somehow it led me straight to "contentment." I think it's crucial for these truth to be told.

Hebrews 13:5
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you."

1 Timothy 6:6-8
⁶Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, ⁷for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. ⁸But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 

 I am encouraged to guard my heart from seeking worldly riches today. I hope you are too.

The Worshipper

Somehow, my own life seems unreal to me. I knew this trip back to the United States was different--I knew the Lord had something big planned for me that I couldn't quite grasp yet--or even imagine! But I was excited and, with great expectancy, packed my bags and stepped out in faith. The Lord had lead me to pursue trying to apply for a Master's degree in Urban Development. But during the course of that pursuit, however, He also called me to serve in a ministry that taught me exactly that! God put me in a place where I could be surrounded by his people--loving, kind, genuine, worshipful. He supplied my every need--a room to stay, food and clothing. In a place where I knew no one, HE built me a home and gave me new brothers and sisters, new fathers and mothers. At a point when I thought I would be stepping into a raging ocean of unknowns, He brought me a great calm and unimaginable joy. I struggle to understand His goodness. I never can fathom His love for me.


I am suddenly a wife now. To a man I never knew I needed. He looks nothing like what I was hoping for, and nothing like I dreamed he would be. He's perfect for me--the Lord's will always is. And I revel in the fact that He gifted me with a love so extraordinary, and delightful, and handsome!


I also revel in the fact that I could've missed it all--but I didn't. I was running down the wrong path, persistently going as fast as I could. Stumbling over every step of the way and becoming more lost and weary. It was an extraordinary rescue. But i'm finally back on the right track. What an extraordinary God!


I often think back on days when my sister and I were little. Growing up in a terribly troubled home, she and I would literally spend hours laying around in bed, dreaming out loud for a better life. The 12 year old me would have never believed this was what was in store for her. I still can't.


There is much to praise the Lord for.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

I encourage you to take the time to think about Him today. There is such great pleasure in it :)

I took a good look inside myself today. 

And found that the Lord has enjoyed my worship of him. 

And rediscovered that in my worship of him, 

i find unspeakable pleasure. 

I think i'm becoming like a child in this manner.

I just can't help 

but get lost in the wonder that is

my Master.

September 3rd, on my journal, i wrote...

I woke up yesterday with the Lord speaking to me in my heart. I hesitate to say heart because i've learned not to trust mine so quickly (Jer 17:9). But the core of me continues to lift up the Lord in praise and thanksgiving. I said to David, last night, that i know a lot of rich and successful people...but that i am the most blessed person i know. That's a big statement, i know. But i continue to claim that in complete confidence. You see, i am well aware of exactly how "un"special i am. There's nothing about me that could ever merit the Lord's unfailing, powerful love. And yet HE continues to show up every morning, saturating my spirit with Himself...forcing me to believe that i'm "loved more than i know" by a King whose plan for me continues to overwhelm me everyday. What is it about me that's so special? Nothing. And i never can earn His love. 


I still think about the Lord's love for me. I still wonder about it in quiet times. I'm still not used to the truth that a GOD so good could ever care for me as much as he does. Every time i remember it, i implode. Thinking about His love for me destroys all my composure. It's pretty ugly. And i'll always be this way. I'll always marvel at the undeserved love i have from my Father.


My whole being jumps up whenever i look at David (my fiancé). He is evidence of the Lord's favor on me. I'm not rejoicing in the fact that i'm "finally" getting married or that i'm "finally" going to be with someone for the rest of my life. I rejoice at the splendor of GOD's majesty shining on me--bringing me (a lowly servant girl) to a place and season where HE could display his strength in my weakness, His power in my meekness, His greatness in my nothingness. It just seems to me, that the higher up the mountain peak of joy i go, the more i see my small-ness, and the Lord's big-ness. I see the Lord in it all. Even as i am becoming the wife of the most wonderful man i know, my soul testifies that it's all about Jesus, still. Everything is.

Engaged to be married on September 17, 2011 <3 Hallelujah!

the absolute funNEST

I've recently discovered that GOD is so fun. You've probably already heard him being described as that, but i don't mean fun as in his sense of humor displayed in unlikely circumstances that turn out to be colossal blessings. Although you gotta love those too! I mean, God must've enjoyed creating flavors in the plants and putting in all the many combinations of vitamins and all that good stuff in it. He must've thought of how much we'd enjoy mixing things together and creating new flavors with them. I can't help but think, HE must be such a joyous GOD. And i love that about the Lord. Even though He knew that no one would deserve to experience His goodness, He made himself so easily available to us and displayed himself in creation. 

Being in the kitchen always makes me feel like a child playing with the "toys" that my Father gives me. I have so much fun running around in a flurry of spices and ingredients--not knowing what i'm doing, and coming out with something delightful. Sometimes it's more "interesting" than delightful. But that's how you learn to control yourself from mixing in too much olive oil. Among other things, of course ;)

And then you look around, and you see squirrels and birds and all these little creatures scurrying about, living their lives to the fullest (Lol), not bothered by where they'd find food or where they'd sleep. Every morning i wake up and the whole universe is in order just like it was yesterday! Nothing i do, good or bad, not even my tenacious propensity for doing dumb things, changes that. There's nothing i can improve about myself to make GOD love me more. He knows the absolute worst things about you and me and yet He still walked the earth like his created beings, died a horrific death on the cross, rose again and is now preparing a place for us to reign with him for all eternity. I'm ashamed to admit that days like these are rare--when i think about GOD and remember what He did for me more than 2000 years ago. I really wanna enthrone the Lord in my being so much so that it changes me. I'm so afraid that my worldly ways would lead me astray. I'm finding that the only times i've truly felt lost have been the times that my love had grown cold. I've been through so many storms and valleys in my life, but none compare to the the midnight hour of feeling separated from the Lord.

I'm convinced this is Jesus' working in me to write this down today. My flesh is not naturally inclined to worship the Lord (Gal 5:16-18) His grace is evident in the fact that even as he commands us to worship him, He draws worship out of us and teaches us how to do it in Spirit and in truth…and sometimes while we're in the kitchen marveling at His creativity and wisdom. 

Zephaniah 3:17 says “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness.” Wait…the Lord, our God, holy and perfect in every way rejoices over us??? That's crazy, right? But it's also the truth. I really feel like the reason we enjoy all these "simple things in life" is because God is in all of it, even though we may fail to acknowledge it sometimes. And the enjoyment of said "simple things" is really the precedent to worshipping Him for it. John Piper once said "…the command is to delight in God himself, and all other blessings we enjoy should lead us to God himself as our final and fullest satisfaction." He really is "the most winsome of all beings." And i truly believe that He never stops pulling us close. What a wonderful GOD is he.

joyous rant #245

I've been living in a state of overwhelm for almost 3 months now. It's easy when you realize that nothing you have is truly yours. In my case, i literally do not own anything out here and yet i have a great abundance of it. And i delight so much in saying that because in my poverty i can boast in GOD's richness! Even my impoverished countenance can only be enriched by HIM. I have discovered that even the tiny flicker of "goodness" i have inside of me is from GOD. It's all HIM. The Lord is good beyond explanation and regardless of our circumstances. Even if this is all you will remember from my blog, i'm happy with that.

I'm so glad i don't have to rely on my wits to get by in life! LOL. I would be the most wretched human being you would have ever seen. First, because i'm really not very wise to begin with left to my own devices, you know. And i absolutely do have ample evidence to back that claim up. But i can't seem to recall any as of the moment. Sorry! *sticks her tongue out*

I'm even more grateful that i don't have to be in control of everything. I can't even begin to imagine the kind of life where you would need to rely on your own resources, and your own strength in order for every single good and/or meaningful thing to happen! I'd much rather be using that energy to enjoy following Jesus and listening to him speak and seeing what He's doing in and around me. HE is such an interesting person to me and i just absolutely enjoy his company. Plus i think it's so liberating to just be able to laugh at yourself because you don't know what the heck you're doing and you're looking so awkward and silly--which is a feeling i know very well! 

Now more than ever, i'm getting to know the Lord as my father. He is stronger and wiser than i could possibly ever grasp and that's FANTASTIC! You know why? Because, being the perfect Father that he is, i can trust him--his identity, his promises, his perfect will for me…just everything about the Lord our GOD is deeply and immeasurably good. Oh i am most definitely on a spiritual high right now and that's why i had to write this down. I'll probably need it for future references when i know my spiritual walk won't be as hot and i'd need to pick myself off the pavement and keep walking. But the more important reason for my making this entry is so that, on a much bigger scale, i can testify about GOD's love. His love never fails. He is love itself. And if at the end of your life all you know is GOD's love, you will have lived life to the fullest.

Lemme boast for a minute

Last night, over dinner, a really good friend of mine gave me a travel coffee mug she had bought from a local coffee shop for me. It was the perfect ending to an afternoon of shopping for summer clothes, a gardening hat, a bathing suit and new Nike high tops :) And then i came home to my own room in an apartment i share with 2 other lovely girls. A room with my own pictures hanging on the wall, freshly cut roses from David's garden, a big dresser, a nightstand, a walk-in closet, brand new sheets and pillows and a bunch of other good stuff. I have been living in a state of overwhelm for the last month or two. I woke up today realizing Heaven's doors had opened and poured out an abundance of blessings on my life. Only GOD can bring abundance like this. Only HE can hear you say in your mind "I wish i had a gardening hat," and then bring it to you. Only the Lord can answer your prayers for opportunities to serve and then pluck you out of your motherland and plant you somewhere seemingly random...like Chambersburg, Pennsylvania. Only the Father can teach you how to love. Only HE can make "experiences" happen. Only GOD can make paths cross. Only Jesus can surround you with his own followers to walk with, grow with, eat grilled pineapples, paint walls, teach Sunday school, sing in the kitchen, pray, laugh and have meaningful conversations with.
Only the Lord our God can do all of that. Only the Lord, our GOD.

the gardener

I found myself sweeping dust off the floor of a little red tool shed in the middle of Chambersburg, Pennsylvania this morning and wondering if this was gonna be my new "normal." To which i came up with the conclusion that my life is strange and wonderful. And i don't know what normal is. Is it normal to fly to a foreign country to pursue something so wildly impossible (such as a masters degree) because you have virtually no means to support yourself financially and won't even have a place to stay or have family around for love and support? I'm guessing it's not. But i just got appointed by a Christian non-profit organization called NETwork to be their volunteer Garden Director. And it's things like this that blows my mind. Because it's such a huge privilege to serve. And when you're floating around in a completely new environment where you're awkward and not sure how to act or talk or even dress, it makes the truth about GOD's sovereignty so much more real. Often times i would imagine myself being on the sidelines watching GOD orchestrate my world. I have no words to describe my amazement at the Lord's desire for me to be of use to himself. I mean, who am I anyway? 

Held by GOD is who I am. And wherever HE desires to set me down and plant me, I will grow :)

My favorite part about Cali ;)

He spoke in a whisper 

something that shook my inner cosmos. 

He smiled and it broke me on the inside 

in all the ways i needed to be broken. 

He shined His face upon me 

and my whole world exploded.

I am a million tiny pieces 

and Love holds me together.

~eloisa.march27.2011~

Facing the Future Without Fear by John MacArthur

While I have no way of knowing what will happen on January 1, 2000, I do know this: people have always and will always fear the future. In fact, the growing response to the Y2K problem demonstrates how delicately the world balances on the edge of panic—how driven we are by fear and uncertainty about things to come.


Certainly, you don't need to be a computer expert to find reasons to fear the future. In fact, you don't need to search at all—fear and uncertainty will find you. A bleak medical diagnosis. Company layoffs. A stack of bills. Car trouble. Whether you're concerned about your health, your home, or your ability to provide for your family, one thing is certain: fear and uncertainty about the future come from every angle and wait around every corner.


Thankfully, in the face of so much uncertainty, God hasn't left us alone or without promises. When fear of the future grips us, the encouragement we find on the pages of Scripture provides our best and only defense. I can think of times when God's Word put to rest the doubts and fears of my family and gave us peace in trying circumstances. I remember the drive to the hospital after learning of Patricia's near-fatal car accident several years ago, not knowing whether she would live or die. More recently, I was the one in the hospital, suffering from blood clots in my lungs. For several days my condition was unstable as the doctors waited to see how I would respond to medication. In each case, God's promises kept the fears at bay.


I'm sure you can think of times in your own life when fear and doubt would have overwhelmed you if not for a verse or passage you remembered from God's Word—times when worry or panic gave way to peace as you immersed yourself in Scripture.


But as heavily as you and I lean on God's Word to fend off our nagging fears about the future—as carefully as we plumb its riches for encouragement--I believe we often overlook one of its most precious treasures. There's a portion of Scripture most of us don't consider—at least not at first—yet it probably contains more promises, offers more proof, and results in more praise than anywhere else in the Bible.
Where is that treasure of biblical encouragement? It isn't contained in one chapter or book. It appears in Genesis and culminates in Revelation. It weaves its way through the Psalms, the prophets, Jesus' teachings, and even the epistles. The encouraging, yet often-overlooked portion of Scripture I'm speaking of is prophecy.


Understanding Bible prophecy encourages in two unique ways. First, it serves as a reminder that God controls history. When, you read from the pages of Scripture how He keeps His promises, your faith is strengthened. God promised a son to Abraham and Sarah, and He provided Isaac. God promised to bring His people into Canaan, and He did. God promised to judge Israel, and the Babylonians led the nation into captivity. God promised a Messiah, and He sent His son. God promised to raise Him on the third day, and He did. In each case, whether He promised to bless or to judge, God was faithful. By reflecting on the fulfilled promises of the past, you can find great comfort as you look toward the future.

Second, understanding God's promises for the future provides a solid foundation to which you can anchor your hope—a sturdy shield with which you can deflect your doubts and fears about tomorrow. Concerning your finances, God has promised to supply your needs. Concerning your health, God has promised to give you a new body. Concerning the unexpected, God has promised to work all things for your ultimate benefit. Concerning your salvation, God has promised to finish the work He began in you. When you reflect on God's plans and promises for you and for the world, you can face the future without fear.

I like your song, Shawn McDonald.

Pure joy? Why, yes please.

There's a power outage so I don't have Facebook to distract me.

I'm finding that this truly is something great and unknown to me. 

I'm also finding more and more that GOD is infinitely wiser and HIS ways immeasurably higher than even my wildest dreams and aspirations.

I was delighted to find out that my faith has grown. This is more than just a time of victories and blessing…it is, more importantly, a time of maturing and enduring. I have to remember that. He is causing things to happen and not happen according to HIS good, pleasing and perfect will. Whatever this is, it has only strengthened my trust in the Lord and all HIS ways. It seems to me that this is how things normally progress for someone who's walking down the narrow path. And yet I am more eager to follow now than I was yesterday. I don't think i've ever been at this place where the obstacle standing in my way has only brought me more hope and confidence. It must look awfully foolish to my crowd of witnesses. But i'm sorting my clothes next week and packing my bags shortly after. I trust Jesus--he is good and will not put those who trust in him to shame.

I've had to be still and know that HE is GOD. I had to carefully examine everything in order to discover that HE is pleased with me. 

I thoroughly enjoy hearing GOD speak. He is lovely. 

He spoke so clearly today, like He always does. He's such a delightful person. He told me to rejoice. So I will.

James 1:2-4

 ² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

How loved are we.

^1-6 God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.
   I'm an open book to you;
      even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking.
   You know when I leave and when I get back;
      I'm never out of your sight.
   You know everything I'm going to say
      before I start the first sentence.
   I look behind me and you're there,
      then up ahead and you're there, too—
      your reassuring presence, coming and going.
   This is too much, too wonderful—
      I can't take it all in!

 ^7-12 Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
      to be out of your sight?
   If I climb to the sky, you're there!
      If I go underground, you're there!
   If I flew on morning's wings
      to the far western horizon,
   You'd find me in a minute—
      you're already there waiting!
   Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
      At night I'm immersed in the light!"
   It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you;
      night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.

 ^13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
      you formed me in my mother's womb.
   I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
      Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
      I worship in adoration—what a creation!
   You know me inside and out,
      you know every bone in my body;
   You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
      how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
   Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
      all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
   The days of my life all prepared
      before I'd even lived one day.

 ^17-22 Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful!
      God, I'll never comprehend them!
   I couldn't even begin to count them—
      any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
   Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!
    
 ^23-24 Investigate my life, O God,
      find out everything about me;
   Cross-examine and test me,
      get a clear picture of what I'm about;
   See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong—
      then guide me on the road to eternal life.

~Psalm 139 (The Message)

William Fitzsimmons "Passion Play"

I thoroughly enjoy this guy's music. The beard is a little crazy though. But i can live with it. lol

a much needed awakening

Today I woke up only to fully realize the wretched state of spiritual deadness and failure I was living in all those years that I could've lived in joyous victory and power. I used to believe that" happiness" was part of the Christian life. I was bent on proving to GOD himself that I didn't deserve anything good from him--so I never asked for anything, at all. Not financial provision, not direction, and not any material thing. I used to look down on people who asked GOD for blessings and stuff. It's only now that i'm realizing how scarily judgmental I was. The enemy has successfully led me to believe in a false god--an unkind, distant god whose goodness I wasn't' allowed to experience because it's not what the Christian life is all about. It's not about being happy or prosperous or having dreams and goals. I became severely defeatist…walking around with the wrong kind of attitude towards life and God, almost completely FAITHLESS. 

I wasn't able to practice putting my trust in the Lord. I never truly knew him as GOD of the universe and creator of all things. I missed out on a lot of opportunities for Him to display his might and power because I never believed him to be ALL that He says he is. Isn't that a shame? Isaiah 40:12 says:

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,  

or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens? 

Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket, 

or weighed the mountains on the scales 

and the hills in a balance? 

 I read somewhere that "God uses the created realm to whisper the truths of the spiritual." Everyday we witness his immeasurable greatness and yet we persist on living well beneath the standard He himself would have us live. 

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power 

and of love and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)

Is there a life happier than that of someone who is close to GOD? I was set free today from a lie that had become so dominant in my Christian walk that it made me a spiritual cripple. Now i live in the truth that I'm loved by Jesus who is infinitely beautiful and wonderful. That alone satisfies me, everyday. He is my hope and confidence.

I'm excited about receiving great things from my Father now! I don't feel the same old guilt I used to feel whenever I would desire good things. I believe that whatever He has in store for me is beyond awesome. And I only want what He wants :) 

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

So YAY for the future! Thank you Jesus. <3

So i wrote about love and stuff.

Love appeals to mankind in ways nothing else can. It is the sum of every beautiful thing one is able to experience in life. Nations have gone to war because of it. Men have died in its pursuit and yet it remains to be that very quintessential piece of the human soul that amplifies every single joyous moment. Love can be maddening, wonderful, terrifying and magnificent all at the same time. You and I both know we need it. It makes us happy. I believe it's the reason we bother to interact with others--we want to love and feel loved. Maybe music was borne out of someone's desire to express love in ways other than just plain words or gestures--in which case, love just simply rocks.

I've been looking around a lot lately at how people tend to go about in search of love. We don't have to look very far to convince ourselves that love is a good thing. It's a very good thing, actually. We find that love has all the qualities of filling us up on the inside so that we feel whole and free. Many of us who are alone want to find someone to "complete" us. So we go on a frantic search for "the one," sometimes almost settling for whoever is willing to, maybe, change for us so that they fit the image we have of the ideal lover--in which case, we will most certainly soon discover that love requires a strength we don't have.

True love walked the earth more than 2000 years ago, in flesh and bones. He spoke healing, forgiveness, freedom, peace, and life into all of creation and the world was never the same again. It’s not that He has a lot of love to give; He didn’t just create love, He IS love--in all its soul-satisfying glory. Seek Jesus. He is the greatest love you will ever know.

At Least Be as Smart as a Bush

In the debates over evolution, be sure you do not become less intelligent than the beasts, the birds, the bushes, and the fish. They know something the brilliant godless do not know.

But ask the beasts, and they will teach you; 
the birds of the heavens, and they will tell you; 
or the bushes of the earth, and they will teach you; 
and the fish of the sea will declare to you. 
Who among all these does not know 
that the hand of the LORD has done this? 
In his hand is the life of every living thing 
and the breath of all mankind. (Job 12:7–10)

What he said.

first account of steppin' out

I'm seeing GOD in a completely different light. It's pretty intense. He's obviously leading me towards something I can't fully know yet. But it's so beautiful. He leads me like a lamp unto my feet and i'm only able to see one step ahead of me. And there are days when i struggle to contain the excitement of not knowing but at the same time not doubting, and not fearing anyone or anything. The odds are stacked up against me--people have examined the circumstance and are doubtful. But i can't agree with anyone but GOD. I can't force myself to be discouraged. Believe me, i've tried! Hope and confidence have set up tent in my soul and all i can seem to do is lift up my eyes to GOD and follow.

My life is changing right before my eyes. And i honestly don't know what's gonna happen next. But i really wanna see where my faith takes me. The bible instructs us to "believe." I personally think HE means for us to trust in HIM so completely so that we can start discovering "great and mighty things which we do not know." I'm so glad i don't have to work for everything. Can you imagine a life where you were the sole person responsible for making things happen for yourself? Where you had to work in order for any and every good thing to occur in your life? It sounds absolutely dreadful. It's also impossible because we know from scripture that "Every good and perfect thing comes from GOD." This includes--that stranger who returned your cell phone to you when you accidentally left it in the motorela (happened to me yesterday), or that new job you just got, or looking at the mirror and liking what you see, or how much fun you have when you're playing a sport, or protection everyday from sickness and calamities and accidents, or the friends who desire closeness with you, or even how your favorite food tastes…and so much more. There are so many things in life that are a source of joy to us that we have no control over. They give us pleasure without us having to work so that we get to experience them. They are gifts from GOD. He is such a good GOD. He knows exactly how to take care of each and every single human being on the planet--He makes life beautiful!

I am about to embark on the biggest adventure in my life yet! It's pretty wild and amazing at the same time. Wild because i've never done anything borne completely out of my faith in GOD. I never knew relinquishing control over my life could give me so much freedom to be able to truly live. I once wrote on my bible "If you are only able to trust in GOD after he has revealed his will for you, then you are merely agreeing with the facts. That's not faith." On a side note, i've always wanted to write a book. But a good quote is good too :) Feel free to quote me, lol!

He shows me scripture pertaining to where i'm at in my life. There have been days where he has had to *make me* hear what He would have me do. He is more determined to show us his will for us than we are at seeking it. Oh i just cant quite get over that. It amazes me how GOD loves me--and you too!

Jesus continues to captivate my heart everyday. He truly is more wonderful than anyone could ever know. If we would take the time to seek HIM, he promises to be found. Finding Jesus is the most satisfying experience i've ever know. It is in finding HIM that we find completeness. HE alone can make us whole :)

Random thoughts throughout the day

Green tea, a slice of lemon and some honey. It doesn't get any better than this!

I really need to tell someone about Jesus today.

I still can't believe i'm finally free!

Yay! Finally said everything i needed to say to Tiny! Thank you Lord!

Ground beef and cheese and hot sauce. Interesting. I like it.

Hm. Okay, so i guess Youtube clips equals very happy students. 

Wait, where are we doing this shoot?? Out in the open like that?? Uckh... LOL

I have begun to poeticize things. This is not good.

Where are my old soccer shorts?

Nesvita...Mmmmmmm...so good.

PINGPONGGGGG!!! WOOHOO!!

Wow, i really have no shame. (because i stayed behind and played pingpong with the varsity gang, who i've never met before, after all the faculty and staff people had left)

MAN, PINGPONG IS AWESOME! I should go back there tomorrow!

I'm so glad i bought this sweater. 

Hm. I think i'll walk the rest of the way home (And i did.) 

Maybe i just won't sleep tonight because i know i'll have nightmares from Binggong's graphic description of an event that should never, under any circumstance, be mentioned to another human being.

Who's the most precious wittow baby in the woild?? You are sweet boo!! I LOVE YOU! Okay now open wide! (while feeding Ozzy) 

We need to just watch something in 3D together. Just get it over with! LOL

Some of what's to come

See you in August!

Diggin these tracks these days :)

Dondria - "You're the one"

Chrisette Michelle - "Like a dream"

Erykah Badu - "Honey"

The Shivers "Beauty" is pretty nice :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQJd9Dxp0dE

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.” -- C.S. Lewis